john mayer

i feel like a john mayer song right now.

i need a reason

looking back, i see imperfections.
i don't want to feel that way tomorrow.
i want to live a new life.

how did i become like this?
passive, complacent?

please give me a reason to live, Lord.
please give me a reason to breathe.
please give me a reason to love
please give me a reason to live.
a reason.

Something More

We all want it. We live everyday to try to acheive it. We can claim we don't have regrets, but if we don't have any - then what pushes us forward? We always want more.

Society would like us to believe that being in want or in need is bad. Society wants us to be in need though. It has an awful paradigm that we fall into.

However, I believe that wanting is ok. I believe it's perfectly normal. Everyday I want to be better than I was yesterday. Every moment I want to be more loving, forgiving, hospitable, friendly etc...than the last. I want love to be my soul. I want. I want all the time. I want to be something more.

I want to be something more than just myself. I want my life to be something more than just a selfish thought, in vain. I want my legacy to be something more than just a blood line.

I want to be a purposeful vagabond.

I want to be able to go where I want to go...when I want to go. As selfish as that might sound, I'm trying not to be selfish in it. I want to go because here I'm safe. Here I'm routine.

But out there, I'm anything but comfortable. Anything but routine. Anything but selfish.

I have experienced out there, vagabondish life is great. I feel caged in, in this "American Dream" I'm supposed to be chasing and wanting. What I wouldn't do to throw it away for a true meaningful life.